3) Suicide Notes

Ford, Michael Thomas. Suicide Notes. New York: Harper Teen, 2008

Annotation: 15 year old Jeff wakes up to find himself in a mental institution believing he doesn't belong there. At first the other patients appear plain "crazy," and the doctors and his family seem incapable of understanding him, but Jeff not only realizes the common thread that binds them together, but also why he was put there to begin with.

Justification for Rejection: Suicide Notes represents a very casual and approachable examination of the reasons why teens can feel the need to take their own lives, but more importantly the novel is about learning that there is really no such thing as normal. Where the book excels is the mostly authentic voice of the narrator, and the fearlessness with which it depicts the confusion over creating a satisfying self-concept as a young adult. Unfortunately, the novel falls short of justifying a nomination as it the quality of the writing does not rise up to it's subject matter.

The story is written in journal form, which certainly has an impact on the tenor of the writing by creating a highly believable 15 year old voice, most of the time. However, this is voice is not consistent, occasionally jumping into a much older sounding writer's voice, and other times sounding like a well-intentioned but not-quite-successful impersonation of a young man. These lapses, while not terribly frequent, reflect on the whole and end up creating an 'uncanny valley' effect - making the good hard to see over the bad.

Nonetheless, the content of the story is genuinely heartfelt and impacting. When we meet Jeff, he has bandages on his wrists and admits that he tried to commit suicide, but offers no details beyond that. Slowly, he begins to open up to the patients around him, including a cutter, pryo, mute and a girl with hallucinations. As he goes from first resenting being among them, to befriending them - he also starts to be more honest with himself about the origins of his actions. Ford pulls no punches in describing the events marking this character arc: from Jeff's first sexual encounters with a girl, to a nearly nonconsensual sex act with another boy in a bathroom (that leads to more graphically depicted experimentation) culminating in the suicide of Jeff's best friend on the inside and Jeff coming out to his parents. The courage in these depictions are instrumental in completing the overall theme that behavior that society calls non-normative doesn't make person bad or an outcast. This struggle to create a socially acceptable but personally satisfying self-image is so important to teen development and Ford captures the necessary ugliness of that process deftly.

On a personal note: I really did want to be able to nominate this book - it has some very important things to say to teens who feel outcast. I debated back and forth for some time, but decided that there are simply other novels that speak this same message with greater skill. Ultimately, Suicide Notes is a book that I hope any teen reads, especially one who has ever felt desperate to fit the perception of themselves into a narrow view that it may not want to accommodate it. However, it's lack of consistency of voice and occasional sloppy writing prevent it from being considered a classic.